Children are such a source of pride in the African social set-up. Their presence offers parents the pride and honour associated with being viewed as responsible adults in their community.
It is an age-old reality that society judges the seriousness of community members using marriage and having a personal house as a yardstick.
It is the reason why men considered of age but without wives, are harshly judged and regarded as outcasts by society. It also explains why Some politicians face a tough time as voters query their marital status during political campaign time.
Parenting is a major social intervention, although it is severely taken for granted. A humorous preacher once asked a congregation of men, whether they are parents or just fathers to children in their homes. Their response was in unison, as they claimed to be parents. The preacher had drawn a line in which he declared that one may be a mother or father but not actually a parent. But for now, we shall remain focused and not get into that debate…
The upbringing of children is a lifetime parental obligation that many underrate. Many regard parenting as a practice that ends with the routine provision of daily food, education support, healthcare and other aspects of well-being.
The practice is eventually limited to years of ensuring that a child is in school, is healthy and generally fit to pursue desirable goals. Little is known about parenting as a process that is detailed and which warrants a balanced and holistic approach.
It may appear great to measure parental success through children with good grades or Jobs, but this is just a mere aspect of the big picture.
Unknown or ignored by parents, is the need to spare time for child development through regular engagement. The failure to spare time is a risk that deprives children of the opportunity to be nurtured through effective parental mentorship. Children cherish the love and company of their parents, especially at a tender age.
They desire parental guidance in matters of leadership, discipline and gender-based decision-making, at both personal and social levels. It is because of the natural connection that binds children to their parents, as preliminary agents and pillars in socialization.
Many parents downplay the child-time idea on a habitual basis. The long-term consequence features a reaping of the bitter fruits of ignoring their children at a period when close parental engagement was ripe and crucial. Once the effort to interact with parents becomes futile, children resort to alternatives to fill the vacuum. The TV and housemaid will become a parental substitute in a sense. The neighboring community may also be a resort irrespective of moral status or influence. The effect of the peer group will also emerge to sow all forms of seed in the heart of an innocent child whose parents lack time to have him raised.
The years spent labouring to see success in a child can potentially end in vain, through fornication, drug addiction, laziness and other forms of abnormal behaviour. Parents need to programme the minds of their children through sparing time for imparting the right strategies and values in children. The emphasis on a good school for your child is perfect but not enough. You must go the extra mile by valuing child time, especially in an era where technology is competing for attention with the role of parents. The expectation for the school to act on your behalf is an assumption by some parents but it is an illusion. Many schools remain focused on the academic and profit-making agenda as administrative priorities and somehow offer limited support to student discipline.
By Tom Musira
The writer is a journalist and social commentator and worker
