Last year at around 10:30pm on February 14, a brawl in my neighborhood ensued. Several punches were thrown Ritah’s way as she tried to cover her face that seemed to have been well made-up. The black lipstick fused into sparklingly shinning lip-gloss had now been mixed up with blood from the torn wound on her lower lip. Mucus oozing from her bruised nose and tears relentlessly flowing down her chicks made a concoction that she forced down her throat and to date Ritah struggles to describe what it tested like.

The evening had turned sullen for the young couple that many neighbors who envied their romantic weeks in the relationship now turned the spectacle into a wonder. Billy accused Ritah of receiving petals of beautiful flowers from someone he had not approved of and her princess-charming was not ready to reveal to the source of the banquet.

On the other hand, Ritah insisted that on such a special, Billy sauntering into their small rental rental double room house with sagging trousers, sweaty T-shirt and swinging his empty large palms on his hands, was an unforgivable sin.

“I had to get someone to show me love that day because this guy (guy) did not bring me anything home. He didnt take me out and neither did he stay with me. He went to play basketball and returned empty handed,” Ritah explained cryingly.

Tomorrow will be Valentine’s Day and the question on almost everyone’s mind is, how will you celebrate the day? As soon as February kicks in, Valentine’s Day creeps up on us like a high-grade fever.

The whole world is geared up to celebrate the season of love and romance with wine, chocolate, food and song. Couples are busy in planning the perfect date with pretty gifts, spa days and romantic meal offers. Oh! Isn’t it so exciting?

Today, Valentine’s Day has not only been commercialized and it comes with so much unwarranted pressure, ridicule and even breaking up of relationships. It’s crazy how we base our love for our significant other on just one day.

That is why Sandra Ankunda a florist says, “Gestures of love and my partner being spontaneous is something I love and crave. If my man has to wait for a whole year for just one day which comes once in a year to show me love then it’s time for a
plan B”.

Akankunda represents many voices that we talked to for this story explaining why one should think that showing affection, love and kindness to your partner should be a one off matter.

“Let’s look at it this way, wouldn’t you feel more loved if you were given flowers, chocolates, or any other traditional symbol of romance randomly because your
sweetheart thought of you and wanted to give you something instead of them looking at the calendar and feeling pressured into giving you a gift?” Vivian Tendo, a relationship expert retorts adding that “Something as arbitrary as the date should not decide when and how we share
affection, and it certainly shouldn’t get to capitalize on romance as well.”

In case any of us need a reminder, Valentine’s Day can end up being another social media relationship like the rest of the thousands out there or a highlight reel. One rosy moment in time, among a million other small or messy ones. The actions that take place to ensure someone has a great day full of love should be done every day.

Counselors say that one classic mistake that women make on Valentine’s Day is to make it about themselves, when it should be a mutual holiday, a day about the couple as a whole.
“You see, the type of relationship I’m looking to be in isn’t built on holidays. It isn’t built on the rainy days the actual rainy days, it’s not even on my wedding day, but it’s on those 364 days that come after that. Those boring not so good to look at days are the ones that matter to me because that’s when you know if he or she is your ride or die, I kid you not,” Muhammad Kateregga, a relationship counselor in Ntinda says.

What other couples say. 

Carol and  Ivan say; “We don’t wait for special occasions to do special things for one another. I make my husband’s favorite dishes even when I don’t like

them and he goes out of his way to get me the things I like on a daily basis. So we really don’t need valentine’s to show our affection. ”

Mike and Cathy say: “I am always sending Cathy flowers and chocolate because I know that her love language is being gifted. If I were to wait for
only one day in a year Cathy would have probably quit this relationship already”.

Bruno a student at Uganda Christian University however says: “Money cant bring you love, nor can expensive gifts. Acts of care and kindness is enough for expressing love to your beloved. Valentine’s day has actually set norms for youngsters where they are made to believe that they have to shower their partner with expensive gifts to keep the relationship going even when they are just students and the gift would come from their pocket money savings, now wonder students are always running broke towards the day”.